No, I won’t trust you, asshole.

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Contemporary jazz artist Nicholas Payton has taken issue with the label given to his genre.  “Jazz,” he says “is an oppressive colonialist slave term and I want no parts of it.” Wow.  No, Payton does not play jazz, he insists, he plays Postmodern New Oreleans Music, or Black American Music (#BAM).

Payton argues that jazz died in 1959, the same year as The Dave Brubeck Quartet’s seminal album Time OutEven if you’ve never heard of Time Out you’ve surely heard of the third track on the album, Take Five, arguably the most famous jazz single ever, and the first jazz single to sell one million copies.  Also occurring in 1959, Miles Davis released what is regarded to be the best jazz album of all time, Kind of Blue.  I may be reading Payton’s poem argument wrong, but it seems to me as if he pronounces jazz dead in the very year that it seemed to be reaching new levels and new audiences.  I don’t get it.

“Jazz,” Payton says is a necessarily limiting term, confining its practitioners to a realm of triteness.  “Jazz was a limited idea to begin with.”  I hate to tell a painter what painting is all about, or a musician what music is all about, but the essence of jazz is exploration.  Listen to John Coltrane’s Live in Paris, and tell me it’s “limited,” in it’s scope.  Or, better yet, listen to Miles’ catalog and tell me it’s “limited,”  confined, or lacking originality.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  To be fair, the Miles example is cheating a little, Miles himself disliked the term “jazz” as he thought it limited his ability to achieve a pop hit and relegated his music to the ghetto–a statement which in my opinion is more racist than most others concerning the word jazz.  Duke Ellington himself, when asked to define jazz, stated, “It is all music.”

The roots of jazz trace back to black communities in New Orleans.  Second-Line funeral processions playing up-tempo numbers followed the primary funeral processions (hence, second line) in celebration of the deceased’s life.  The second-line music evolved and emigrated to Chicago, and in the second decade of the twentieth century, jazz as we know it was born.  To be sure, jazz originated as black music.  But in the 1960′s jazz was co-opted by whites (see: rock’n'roll).  People like Paul Desmond, Buddy Rich, Louie Belson, Dave Brubeck, Peter Erskine, and Stan Getz redefined jazz forever and brought it to new audiences.  While jazz may have originally, and may still be primarily black music, to change its name from Jazz to Black American Music is to exclude and ignore the accomplishments and contributions of white musicians.  Black American Music it may have been, but jazz does not remain to be the domain of blacks alone.

But, why bring race into it at all?  Can’t I just enjoy Cannonball Adderly’s Somethin’ Else without thinking about its racial implications?  No, Payton argues, because “Jazz  is an oppressive colonialist slave term” which was foisted upon the musicians, “Jazz is a label that was forced upon the musicians.  The musicians never should have accepted it.”  Well, Mr. Payton, that is just factually wrong.  The etymology of the term jazz is a little bit hazy, but the Yale Book of Quotations tells us it appeared around the time jazz was making a splash in Chicago, about 1915.

Blues Is Jazz and Jazz Is Blues…Saxophone players since the advent of the “jazz blues” have taken to wearing “jazz collars,” neat decollate things that give the throat and windpipe full play, so that the notes that issue from the tubes may not suffer for want of blues–those wonderful blues.

Point being, if the musicians themselves are wearing “jazz collars” before the term was widely used the notion that the term was forced upon the musicians is dubious at best.  Further, the first musician to use the word “jazz” in his groups name, Bert Kelly, was black.

Say what you will, Mr. Payton.  Lament the state of your art as you wish–for it is lamentable.  I, an avowed jazz lover, lament with you.  The state of jazz is sorry.  But do not find racism where none is present.  Do not change a century’s worth of tradition and art for your benefit.  You may call it Postmodern New Orleans Music, but the moment you invoke the term postmodern you sound like someone who is trying too hard.  Jazz is jazz, man.  It has been, and always will be.  There is nothing wrong with that.  Taking fault with the term “jazz” as a result of the sorry state of your art is like hating the term “school” because you are receiving F’s.  It’s not the label, but the body of music that counts.  Changing the name will do nothing, it really just sounds like you are whining for attention.

I went to the largest mall in America (based on total leasable square footage) today to do my Christmas shopping.  It was a zoo—of humans.  Each animal with an expression of soul-less death on their faces, no one was happy to be there, they were there because they had to be.  The animals lined up out the door for Starbucks and the Apple store (pour one out for Steve) because those products are necessities.  Why are my feet killing me?  Maybe moccasins were a poor choice.

My main objective was to find a present for my girlfriend.  This quest to destroy the one ring that binds them led me into the caverns of many a department store—some with dragons that jealously guarded their goblin treasures.  And by that I mean middle aged women who gave me weird and suspicious looks for checking out the hosiery.  What?  It’s a present, duh.  Other stores had black holes many million times the size of the sun (ie. salespeople), which would suck you in and show you all (read: two, three max) great things about their product, all of which can be found on the products of their competitors.  While they distract you with the variety of colors and their feigned sincerity—I know you work on a commission, bitch—they conveniently avoid mentioning the price: your left eye, social security number, a pint of unicorn blood, and $299.98.  Shit, text books next semester or this gift?

I managed to avoid the gravity of the black holes and was back to looking for the perfect gift for my girlfriend.  My damn feet.  Yeah, moccasins were definitely a bad decision, and why does my hip hurt?  Ok, ok, gift time.  Ahh, Burberry.

Holy shit.  The price tag read, “Your left testicle…ya know what, while you’re at it why don’t ya gimme that right one too.” Damn, I’m getting this gift specifically for the benefit of my testicles, quite the catch-22, Burberry. I made my way outta there like I had just accidentally walked in on a Black Panther meeting: fast as hell, but cautiously so as not to attract attention, nervous smile intact.  Phew.

 If the mall is a cave, Victoria’s Secret is a seam of gold in the rock formations.  Wait, what?  How old is that girl?  Reminder: daughter will wear blinders to mall. 

I decided to try one last department store.  I made my way to the depths of the cave, where the fish have no eyes and the crayfish are completely white.  On my way down I had to awkwardly side step another spelunker emerging from the depths who was carrying his baby’s stroller up the steps while his wife looked on adoringly.  Showoff, take the escalator next time chief.  Then I found it, the perfect gift.  And by perfect I mean—she better like it.  Will she like it?  Does she like gold or silver?  I think this is aluminum…do people think I’m gay, no they definitely know I’m shopping for a girl, why is that guy eyeing me?  I gotta get outta here. Where’s the cashier?

 

“Ok, that will be one year’s tuition.”

“Uh…put it on my debit card.”

 

Despite the zombie-like mothers and the fathers weighted down with big, medium, and little brown bags, the people who walk on the wrong side of the aisle (right side people, like a car, strollers don’t make you better than me, yea, you.), the five year old girls in Victoria’s Secret shopping casually for thongs, the Mediterranean folks trying to sell me bath salts from the dead sea (no thanks, fell for that last year), the utter chaos, and the spray on butter at Auntie Anne’s, it was a successful trip.  Being immersed in the consumerism of a shopping mall always seems to make me feel like it is Christmastime.  I’m not sure what that says about me, or society in general, but nonetheless, I’ll take the caves and suspicious looks for a little Christmas spirit any time.

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Found this interesting article online.  Well, ok, it’s not actually an article, it’s a write up about the article.  The article itself is behind a paywall–but who pays for online content these days anyway?

 

Guess I should start planning my summit of Mt. Ranier ASAP…

 

Joe Paterno, legendary Penn State Football coach, was fired tonight, after 46 seasons at the helm of the program.  His back to basics philosophy and rolled up khakis have become the stuff of legend in Happy Valley.  JoePa was dismissed by the Board of Trustees of The Pennsylvania State University amidst much controversy surrounding the school as a result of former Defensive Coordinator Jerry Sandusky’s arrest for sexually abusing 8 adolescent boys since 1998.  A ninth victim has since come forward.  Read the grand jury report here.

In short:  Sandusky was seen abusing a boy in the showers of the football team’s locker room by then team graduate assistant Mike McQueary.  McQueary then decided the logical thing to do was to allow the abuse to continue and call his father, who told him to report what he had seen to Joe.  Joe met with McQueary, and reported the incident to Athletic Director Tim Curley.  A week and a half later, McQueary was called into a meeting with AD Curley and Vice President for Business and Finance Gary Schultz to explain what he had seen.

Then…nothing.

Well, not nothing.  The crack duo of Curley and Schultz decided that the best plan of action was–get ready–not allow Sandusky to bring any more children onto campus.  Womp womp.  University President Graham Spanier signed off on this punishment.

“Oh, yea, this looks good.”  *scratching of pen on paper*

The ban was not enforced.  Sandusky was on campus as recently as last week working out at the football team’s facilities, according to some sources.

So what we have is a failure on every level, by everyone involved.  Sandusky, McQueary, Paterno, Curley, Schultz, Spanier, all failed.  Some more than others.

What bothers me most is not JoePa’s dismissal, it’s the fact that the administration is grossly mishandling the case, in my opinion.  Make no mistake about it, people had to go (Paterno included).  But the manner in which it was handled is upsetting, to say the least.  The media and the Board of Trustees made Paterno the scapegoat for systemic failure and negligence.  To fire Paterno (over the phone albeit) while placing the master minds of the cover up, Schultz and Curley on administrative leave is disgusting.  To fire Paterno while doing nothing to McQueary is unconscionable.

If anyone McQueary is the one who most failed the child (Sandusky aside) by failing to intervene, by–literally–turning his back on the boy.  Next in line:  Curley and Schultz who swept it all under the rug.  Next, Spanier, who gave the toothless punishment his signature.  Last in line–last I tell you–JoePa.

The house needs to be cleaned.  Everyone needs to go.  But JoePa first?  In this way?  Couldn’t you even let the man finish the season and retire, as he said he would?  The man who has donated over $4 million to this school?  The man who has a library named in his honor?  The only one who actually did something?

I am disillusioned with the Board of Trustees and Penn State, to say the least.

 

 

 

 

Beal’s nightmarish life grew darker on a walking tour in the area around Kharkov in the fall of 1932.  As he stepped off the beaten path, he saw a corpse lying by a ceek and was accosted by starving peasants.  In the spring of 1933 he found a “dead horse and a dead man upon the side of the road…The man was still holding the reins.”  In some villages he could see dead people seated at their windows, where they had died, gazing out onto nothing.  The journey that had begun in 1929, when Beal rode his motorcycle across the Catawba River in North Carolina, ended as he walked through this devastated Ukrainian land.  Now, more than ever, he desperately wanted to return to the United States.

 

Excerpt from Glenda Gilmore’s Defying Dixie

 

Anagram: n. : a word or phrase made by transposing the letters of another word or phrase

 

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